“God, surprise me today.” This has been my prayer these past few days. And today, He just answered it. (August 24, 2014)
God surprised me.
A friend shared something to me (will not share the whole story because its something personal and sensitive), after that, what I felt was hindi ako makapaniwala. ang bigat sa pakiramdam. nakakapanghina. nanginig yung mga kamay ko at nanlamig ako. sobrang nabreak yung heart ko. I’ve tried to keep it but what that person shared really brought me to tears.
Full of “Why’s”. I don’t know what to do, what to say and what to feel next. Gusto kong lapitan yung tao na “Baket? Baket kelangang mangyari yun?” Gusto ko siyang yakapin. Gusto kong magsalita pag may pagkakataon. It’s just something my heart and my mind can’t accept but later on, my heart was filled with love and compassion because the people involved are very close to my heart.
But what something-not-so-good-to-know event was turned to something “heart-blowing.”
Today, I just felt His heart. I felt the heart of God. Deeper.
The moment I’m still thinking of it, I also heard His voice na…
“Ganyan din yung nararamdaman ko…nararamdaman ko sa’yo every time you sin against me. Nabbreak yung heart ko, it also brought me to tears. Pero mahal pa rin kita. Tatanggapin pa rin kita kasi anak kita. Papatawarin pa rin kita kasi mahal kita…”
I asked God for forgiveness and healing not just for them but also for myself. I broke God’s heart. Many times.
Yung pagmamahal na palaging iniiwan at tinatalikuran mo ay ang parehong pagmamahal na magpapabalik sa’yo.
Knowing that story and hearing that voice, this would mean three things to me:
1. God can use someone or something to remind you of His love and grace for you… Yes, in a deeper way, in a way na pati ikaw mamomoved at mabbreak ang heart. And that brokenness is so beautiful!
2. The moment you followed Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life, hindi Nya lang ibibigay sa’yo kung sino Sya at ano ang mga nagawa o gagawin Nya, IBIBIGAY NYA RIN PATI PUSO NYA. You will also have a heart like Him. Because God has been loving and compassionate to me, I can also be loving and compassionate to other people.
3. If I experienced brokenness in my heart after that story was shared to me, definitely, I’m also breaking God’s heart every time I fail and commit sin against Him. That moved me not to sin not to break God’s heart next time.
This must be the main reason of fleeing away from sin: that because I love Jesus and I don’t wanna break His heart.
THE LORD IS COMPASSIONATE AND GRACIOUS, SLOW TO ANGER, ABOUNDING IN LOVE. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. FOR AS HIGH AS THE HEAVENS ARE ABOVE THE EARTH, SO GREAT HIS LOVE FOR THOSE WHO FEAR HIM. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. AS FATHER HAS COMPASSION ON HIS CHILDREN, SO THE LORD HAS COMPASSION ON THOSE WHO FEAR HIM.
His grace and mercy are always available but it’s not something we abuse and we use as a reason to commit sin again. How can we break the heart of Someone loving, faithful and compassionate to us? We can value the love and faithfulness Jesus has for us by also loving Him.
If you are now in Christ, God loves you! And even your biggest and dirtiest sin will never change or remove that.
“There’s no sin too great. There’s no pain too deep. The Cross declares it is done.There’s no shame too real that His love won’t heal. Forever the victory is won.”
Every time people would come to Jesus, instead of saying “you are forgiven”, most of the time He would say, “you are healed.” Today, hear God saying, “Child, You are not just forgiven. You are healed. Go and sin no more.”