Closer You and I

Sabi nila, kapag dumating ka sa buhay ko, masakit na masaya ka raw sa huli…

Sabi naman ng iba mahirap na masarap kang maramdaman…

Sabi nila, worth it ang lahat. Ienjoy lang kapag andyan ka na…

Sa mga sinasabi at kwento nila, parang ayaw ata kitang maranasan…

Dadaan ka ba sa buhay ko? Ayoko pa ata. Ewan. Siguro. Pero sana ‘wag muna ngayon…

Pero dahil nga sabi ng puting t-shirt ko, This Life Is No Longer On My Own at sabi sa Bible, He is the Author of our faith, may mga pagkakataon talaga na andyan Siya para magdala ng mga bagay at pangyayari sa buhay natin para may ituro at sabihin sa’ten…

Kaya eto, kahit ayawan o tanggihan kita, nandito ka na sa buhay ko…

Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo sa’yo e, sa una, wala lang akong maintindihan kung bakit ka kelangan dumating

Pero ngayon, naiintindihan ko na ang lahat… Kung ikaw naman pala ang natitirang paraan para maintindihan, marinig at mapalapit ako sa Kanya, salamat sa pagdating mo.

BROKENNESS,

Naalala mo ba yung oras na yung pag-asa ko para makatapos sa pag-aaral sa tamang panahon, ang labo?

Yung napapalibutan yung mind ko ng doubts, fears at worries baka kasi hindi namin matapos yung dapat naming tapusin para makagraduate? Oo, yung thesis. Kahit yung knowledge at wisdom ko, hindi ko na nga maasahan e. Limited.

E yung araw-araw na pumapasok ako sa school tapos mahirap magkaroon ng baon? Dahil wala ngang pera, wala ring panginternet para gumawa ng projects at assignments. Pati yung ipon ko, nagamit ko na.

Sa discipleship, parang reality show na ang nangyayari, isa-isa na silang nawawala at hindi umaattend.

Sa character, ang dami ko ng nakikitang mali at marami na rin Siyang sinasabi sken pero parang paikot ikot na lang. Powerless.

Madami pang nangyari, pero lahat ang gulo, hindi mo madeal isa-isa. Wala kong mahawakan at maayos man lang. Out of Control.

Β 

Ilang beses na ko tumawag sa pangalan Niya nung mga oras na yun, pero wala kong matanggap na sagot.

Pero isang araw, nakasakay na ko sa jeep papuntang UMak, nagsalita Siya sken…

“Hindi mo mababago at matatanggal ang realidad ng pagsubok at problema, habang nasa mundo ka, mararanasan mo ‘yan. Pero alam mo kung anong magbibigay ng kakaiba sa nararanasan mo? Yung paraan ng pagharap mo dito…”

Tama Siya.

“Itong pagkalimited ko, it must lead me to Someone limitless.

Itong pagkapowerless ko, it must lead me to Someone powerful.

Itong pagkaout of control ng mga nangyayari sa buhay ko, it must lead me to Someone in-control.

Itong brokenness na nararamdaman ko ngayon, it must lead me to Someone who can make me complete again.”

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God. (2 Cor. 1:9)

Β 0228

That Voice really changed my direction and perspective.

Para kang sundalo sa gitna ng labanan na bukod sa dami ng kaaway na kaharap mo, nawalan at naubusan ka pa ng armas.

Wala ka ng magawa kundi tumakbo sa Commander, lumuhod, isuko at iiyak ang lahat.

Umiyak ng apat na sunod-sunod na araw. Umaga at gabi. Ibigay at isuko lahat sa Kanya at dahil masakit pa rin, niluhod mo na talaga.

God will use this brokenness in our lives for us to hear Him when He can’t get our attention immediately, to learn something, to be molded, to submit or resubmit our lives to Him and surrender everything that hinders our relationship with Him.

Pride. Self-Reliance. Self-Will. Selfishness. And other things connected with the word, “SELF.”

“E KUNG TONG BROKENHEARTEDNESS WILL LEAD YOU CLOSER TO GOD, E DI BEING BROKEN WILL BE A VERY BEAUTIFUL PICTURE.” (1)

Brokenness is beautiful … because it humbles you.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it restores your hope.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it reveals and reminds you of your real purpose and meaning.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it reminds you of your identity in Christ. You are His child.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it will lead you to surrender the things you don’t need and depend on Him more.

Brokenness is beautiful … because you will discover the most important things and Person in life.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it will lead you closer to God.

Brokenness is beautiful … because you will be reminded of different characters of God.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it will make you embrace more the beauty of the Cross.

Brokenness is beautiful … because it will lead you to the One who loves you. Perfectly.

Brokenness is beautiful … because this is one of those sweetest parts in Your Christian life — Yung alam mong hindi mo na matatakbuhan ‘yung mga bagay dito sa mundong ‘to. Yung haharapin mo yung isang araw na yung relationship mo na lang with Jesus yung pinanghahawakan mo. Yung kayo na lang ni Jesus yung magkasama and you will say, “I’m satisfied” and “He’s enough”.

BROKENNESS IS BEAUTIFUL. (2)

He made me realized, nung mga oras na nagppray ako, tinatanong ko kung anong purpose nito pero parang walang sagot, nandun Siya, nakikinig sken.

Yung mga oras na iyak lang ako ng iyak sa Kanya, alam kong nandun Siya sa tabi ko.

Andun yung boses Niya na…

“Sige, iiyak mo lang lahat sa’ken. I am close to the broken-hearted.

Masakit man para sa’ken na ilagay ka sa sitwasyon na ganito, bigyan ka ng problema, pero ito yung paraan para mas mai-mold, maidiscipline at maipakita Kong mahal kita.”Β 

And nakakatawa mang isipin, pero hindi ako tumigil, mas lalo akong umiiyak nung naramdaman at naisip ko ‘yun. Haha! πŸ˜›

At the end, Brokenness is still not about me and not about us. It’s still about Him.

He wants to remind me to stop relying on myself, live my own life, make my own rules and do & deal everything with my own knowledge and strength.

He is there to remind me that He is the One who is limitless, powerful, in-control and the One who completes me.

He is the One who sustains. The One who holds everything.

I know, hindi lang sila, ako ang nakaranas at makakaranas nito. Maybe you’re in that situation right now or will be in that situation in the future. Pwedeng naranasan na natin pero ipaparanas sa atin ulit.

But when God is the One who does the breaking, it is never out of carelessness. There is always a purpose to the breaking. (3)

Let me share to you yung tinatawag kong “The Truth of 8:28” (na palaging nireremind sken ni Lord sa orasan—umaga at gabi, pati sa birthday ko na August 28)

GOD IS ALWAYS WORKING FOR OUR OWN GOOD. (Romans 8:28)

Yung sabi nila na masakit at mahirap, oo totoo yun. Sa una hindi mo talaga maintindihan.

Pero yung sabi rin nila na masaya at masarap, totoo din yun. Mas totoo ‘yun.

Just admit your weakness. Cry out to Him. Admit that you can’t do it alone.

That You need Him. You still need Him.

And yung sinasabi ko kanina na sundalong tumakbo sa Commander?

It’s not a sign of weakness or kaduwagan.

It’s a great picture of a strong & brave man who knows to admit his weakness and really depend on Someone greater than him.Β 

Kahit gaano ka pa katagal at kagaling na Kristyano, darating talaga yung araw na manghihina ka at madadapa ka.

But when you have received that grace and strength again, Continue your journey.Β 

We never know that at the end, this pain and this brokenness will bring a great change in our lives. If we trust and focus on Jesus.

Brokenness can be a road to restoration, revival and renewal.

Sabi nga ng kaibigan ko, “If it is for Him, Worth it lahat.” (4)

Walang hindi Niya naririnig. Walang hindi Niya nakikita. Walang salita at luhang nasasayang.

YUNG CROSS NIYA ANG SANDALAN MO.

MAHAL KA NI JESUS.

MAHAL NA MAHAL KA NIYA.Β 

Maybe the shattered parts are the places where Your love starts and now,

I am closer to where You are, with every beat of my broken heart. (5)

Yes, I am closer to where You are with every beat of my broken heart…

…And Brokenness is beautiful … because to be broken is to be a blessing. πŸ˜‰

—–

Notes:

This blog post was originally posted December 3, 2013 inΒ 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/randy-camba/closer-you-and-i/10151740345027651 or

http://hethani.tumblr.com/post/69000391482/closer-you-and-i

(1) Erikson Isaga

(2) Chris Sligh – Broken

(3) Ptr. Paolo Punzalan, Broken to be a Blessing

(4) Cielo Operario

(5) Hawk Nelson – Every Beat Of my Broken Heart

Original Photo: Mark Muldez, Tumblr (edited: mine)

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