Kidney Diary #2

Total adjustments ang season na ‘to. It requires me to let go of many things — maybe for this season or pwedeng… permanently.

Nami-miss ko kumain ng walang iniisip kung bawal ba o pwede.

Nami-miss ko sumayaw. Mag-choreo.

Sa harapan ng maraming tao o kahit mag-isa sa kwarto.

Nami-miss ko tumayo sa harapan ng maraming kabataan para mag-exhort.

Yung mga sigaw at palakpakan nila dahil sa pagmamahal ni Lord.

Nami-miss ko mag-work, doing ministry at mga late night meetings.

Nakaka-miss yung panahong hindi mo kelangan isipin ang kalendaryo at oras.

Na hindi umiikot sa treatment or medication ang buong araw mo.

Nakaka-miss mag-spend ng quality time with people around me. Oras na hindi limitado kasama sila. Yung kasabay mo sila umuwi palagi.

Nakaka-miss ang fast food chains at food trip sa labas. Because that’s the place where I ‘ve experienced a memorable dinner.

Late night talks.

Whole day at church.

Maglakad tuwing gabi para makahinga at mag-isip isip.

Ito yung mga oras na hindi mawawala ang tanong na…

“May purpose at meaning ka pa ba?”

“May pupuntahan at may destiny pa rin ba ang buhay mo?”

“Ano pang pakinabang mo sa mundong ‘to?”

Dahil parang wala na, dahil yung mga bagay na nakasanayan mo, nagbago na.

To be honest, this season somehow paralyzed me. Not just from the things I’ve mentioned above but even my…

Vision. Dreams. Calling. Hope.

Buti na lang God is a God of all seasons!

One day Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee, and John baptized him in the Jordan River. As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great One day Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee, and John baptized him in the Jordan River. As Jesus came up out of the water, he saw the heavens splitting apart and the Holy Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy.”

Mark 1:9‭-‬11 NLT

I believe God’s heart and encouragement for us everytime we feel this way, yung affirmation na sinabi Nya rin kay Jesus. Na kahit wala pa Syang nasisimulan na miracles, God is already pleased with Him.

And that comfort & love embraced and secured me most especially this season.

And I know same thing with you.

What’s nice with this season is that God has given me a new eyes to see what He is doing not just in my life but also in the lives of the people around me.

This season may not be the season na I’m doing what I love and passionate to do, but this is the season na I can enjoy and witness while I am in the background – still celebrating with their milestones, fighting with them in their battles, journeying with them and seeing them grow in their walk with God.

Kaibigan, hindi sukatan ng purpose, meaning, significance at destiny natin ang mga nagawa, ginagawa or gagawin pa lang natin. Si Jesus, wala pa syang ginagawa o pinapatunayan, mahal na sya at may halaga na sya. Sa presensya Nya, kumpleto na tayo.

You are enough. 💙

In Christ,

Randy